Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Another reason I blog

So, I think it was Sunday night that she wanted to talk. But by the time the kids were in bed she was too tired. She did make one statement about being happy with her work life balance. It struck me that she is satisfied with the status quo. I know this was my intrepetation.

Yesterday morning I wrote her a blog, a letter. I spelled it out in black and white. It is interesting that because I've been blogging it was easy for me to get it out. I started writing and it came out. I spelled out where I was, where I perceived she was. And the fact that I was not satisfied with where we were. I made it clear that the first step in any reconsilitation would be to deal with the "friend" issue. I said she didn't have to appologise, but she did have to reconsile. I was not going to loose a friend of 18 years because of this.

When I got home she had obviously read the email. She was not happy. I left to take my son to boy scouts. When I got home, she was more thoughtful. But I needed a drink. She didn't want to talk. And I probably underestimated the strenght of this cask strength scotch, but I didn't really want to talk either. I slept alone last night. She had asked me back to the master bedroom. I said I was uncomfortable until we got some of this stuff sorted out. I had said that in the letter too.

This morning she said she was going to take the steps necessary to contact my friend and being the process of reconsiling. I don't know what that means to her, but it is a step she has never taken before. I don't know where its headed, but at least we are not dead in the water right now.