Friday, February 13, 2009

My Annual Valentines Day Posting

Believe it or not this is the third year I've posted this.

Valentines Day for the Broken Hearted

You know how some people get depressed at Christmas? Well, there are those of us who look at Valentine's Day as a chance for the world to remind us that our relationships suck.
But, I'm not going to take it this year. This year I took inventory. It is not about the relationships that suck. Its about the relationships that work. It is a day for Thanksgiving for those in your life that bring joy. In all of our lives there are relationships that are important because they work. Work at different levels, for different reasons. This is a day for me to reflect on the relationships that work.
I am thankful for my children. They are my Valentines. This morning I did my usual routine of waking both kids. My daughter is 7. She wakes up, and sits on my lap while she drinks the cup of warm milk I bring her ever day. She stretches, and I carry her to the bathroom. I then head down the hall and wake my my 10 year old son. I make sure he's starting to wake up by rubbing his back, tell him I am turning on the radio, and then do it. The volume is low, but it helps him wake up. We talk a minute or two, then I get him up, walk him to his bathroom, give him a hug, and a kiss, and then give him his cup of warm milk. I do this every day of the week. They are perfect. I hug each, kiss each, and then I can go to work.
I am thankful for my family. My three brothers, my sister, my mom, her husband, and yes, even my dad and his wife. I rarely see my dad, or his wife. But they are good people. My father's mother didn't do him any favors. He was a distant father. But because of that, I made a promise to myself not to be that way with my kids. I have been the primary care giver since they were born. And I can say the lessons my father taught me have served me well. I am thankful for that. I am thankful that Lance takes care of my mother. He is a great man. For those of you who don't know, Lance is younger than I am. My mother married a man the same age as her fourth child when she remarried. They are a perfect couple. Right now they are on vacation in Viet Nam. My mother could never have the experiences she is having without him. My mother is cool. I am thankful for her. And the relationship I have with her. She is a rock. I am thankful for my brothers, and my sister. We spend at least a week together as a family every year. I love being with them. I love that we can still connect and talk.
I am thankful for my friends. My real life, face to face friends. The ones I sail with. The ones who bring their kids to Cub Scouts, or Baseball. I am thankful for that. I am thankful for my friends online. I do not have a chance for much adult support at home, but I have come to appreciate the support my online friends have brought me. I love making friends, meeting people, talking, exchanging ideas, playing, having fun. My online friends are cool. I am thankful for that. Thankful for you all.
So, Happy Valentine's Day to all my Valentines. I am thankful for each and everyone of you.
Last night my wife came home and told me my daughter didn't want to sing a particular song in the chorus. She told my wife that the song reminded her of Wendy.
At a time of reflection of the value of friends, I am struck by the loss of friends as well. Loosing Wendy last year was a deep blow. One I have not recovered from. One that I don't fully understand. And one that I find harder and harder. Not only because of the loss of a good friend, but that it reminds me how isolated I am. So, at this time of reflection, and giving thanks for the relationships I have. I need to redouble my efforts to tell the people I love, that I love them, and to enjoy and strengthen the relationships I have.
And maybe that is the meaning of Valentine's Day.


  1. Really enjoyed reading this. It's a good way to look at Valentine's day.

    Hope you have a good one.

  2. good post.. but i still hate v day..

  3. This is the third year you've posted and this is the third time I've read it. I appreciate the classics. My love to you and yours.