Heading south

So, after a brief flicker of hope we're heading south again. I gave her a chance to reconsile with my friend so we could start moving forward. Her idea of reconsiling was to get another pound of flesh. Needless to say, my friend has decided to withdraw. I totally get that. But it is so clear to me that my wife doesn't want to reconsile with me. It really is all about getting me back inside the box. And I'm not going.

This is definately not Journal Space

Have you noticed how few folks come by here? I don't see any of my JS friends. Most days I don't get a single comment. I read everyone who is posting here, but it seems like that is only a small subset of the folks I used to read.

What's going on? Is the JS community dead now?

Another reason I blog

So, I think it was Sunday night that she wanted to talk. But by the time the kids were in bed she was too tired. She did make one statement about being happy with her work life balance. It struck me that she is satisfied with the status quo. I know this was my intrepetation.

Yesterday morning I wrote her a blog, a letter. I spelled it out in black and white. It is interesting that because I've been blogging it was easy for me to get it out. I started writing and it came out. I spelled out where I was, where I perceived she was. And the fact that I was not satisfied with where we were. I made it clear that the first step in any reconsilitation would be to deal with the "friend" issue. I said she didn't have to appologise, but she did have to reconsile. I was not going to loose a friend of 18 years because of this.

When I got home she had obviously read the email. She was not happy. I left to take my son to boy scouts. When I got home, she was more thoughtful. But I needed a drink. She didn't want to talk. And I probably underestimated the strenght of this cask strength scotch, but I didn't really want to talk either. I slept alone last night. She had asked me back to the master bedroom. I said I was uncomfortable until we got some of this stuff sorted out. I had said that in the letter too.

This morning she said she was going to take the steps necessary to contact my friend and being the process of reconsiling. I don't know what that means to her, but it is a step she has never taken before. I don't know where its headed, but at least we are not dead in the water right now.

Ski Blog

OK, so I'm not exactly Jean Claude Killy (or however you spell it)

But I had a good time on the slopes














And, yes, I bought brand new sexy skiis. Good idea, even if they did get beat up a bit. God it was icy

Definately In Like

This is not a love story. It is, however, a like story.

I am definately in like. Friends who make me warm in the middle. Even friends who come and go, pass in the night. I am in like.

It is one of those things that gets me through. Gets me up in the morning and strengthens me during the day.

Hum. I wonder who's in like with me?

Best Birthday Party I've Been To

Argh, I just wrote this great post, and this thing lost it instead of posting it.

So, back to what I said, second time is never as good.

Not even my birthday party. My step father bought a party at a charity auction at a local firehouse.

I totally get people wanting to be a fire fighter, or hanging out with them. Nine little girls (and my son made 10). Not only did they get to sit in the fire truck (and engine, and I know the difference now) but they took them around the block, lights and sirens and all. They let them shoot the hose at some cones, climb the ladder, go to the top of the training building. They invited the lady firefighters from the next station to come over. Then cake and something to drink.

And the party came with its own photographer, so pics will follow. It was great. The firefighters were really cool (and buff for all you girl readers). This was a birthday that will be long remembered.

In the shower

It is interesting how sometimes the whole stress things gets to me. I was showering, just pondering and thinking and all I could do was wash my hair, shave, and get out. I just need to keep going. There has going to be more than this.