OK, I did not invent this. Go read Becomingkate's blog. So, in concept this is the man's equivolent of Valentine's Day. Celebrated one month later, March 14.
Let's examine this, shall we?
So, I read this to say that men have to be coerced into liking chocolate hearts and romance, and women have to be coerced into red meat and oral sex.
In my life I have run across very romantic men. And women who love oral sex. Now, it is also true I have run into men who are about as romantic as a dead stump, and women who are repulsed by the idea of putting "that" in their mouths.
I'm actually a pretty romantic guy. And at times I feel really guilty receiving oral sex. Maybe because I assume most women don't really enjoy it. I have recently learned that is not necessarily true. Some women really really enjoy it. And some are really really good at it. Extrapolating why I like performing oral sex, I can see why some women might enjoy being on the other end of the stick (so to speak). And, I know this sounds selfish, I have figured out that laying back and enjoying it is the best thing I can. It is hard for me to be selfish like that. But I'm learning.
ask me about steak some other time
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Keeping my word
Still blogging, still doing OK.
So, for the faint hearted, stop reading now.
Tomorrow is my first butt-o-scope. It will happen to all of you. Today is the day to get ready for tomorrow. They say today will be the worst part. I screwed up and forgot I wasn't supposed to eat anything today. On my way into my office I grabbed a piece of red licorice. I sure hope they don't interpret that as cancer.
So, for the faint hearted, stop reading now.
Tomorrow is my first butt-o-scope. It will happen to all of you. Today is the day to get ready for tomorrow. They say today will be the worst part. I screwed up and forgot I wasn't supposed to eat anything today. On my way into my office I grabbed a piece of red licorice. I sure hope they don't interpret that as cancer.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Another thing
So, how do you know if you're doing the right thing? How do you separate the rational part from the selfish part? How do you know that the stuff you're doing, or you want, is really the stuff you should be doing, or the stuff you should be wanting?
I am probably much more selfish than I'd like to think I am. I am probably more self absorded, self indulgent. I probably look through rose colored glasses. But doesn't everyone. Well, everyone but St. Teressa. And is that OK?
Do you think people stop from time to time to look around and ask whether other people see their reality the same way they see it? I ponder these things.
You know the song with the line "all I want is a little fun before I die". Is that an unreasonable request? Don't get me wrong. I have had a blast on this journey. At times. I have had the blessing to do some amazing things, and see some amazing stuff. But I'd like to go to a Jimmy Buffett concert and dance and sing. I'd like to look at bare boobs without feeling like I shouldn't be looking. I'd like to run naked through the sprinklers again. Or just be naked again. Do we spend so much time trying to avoid eternal damnation to just enjoy sitting in the sun nude? What does everything need to be so serious?
I spend way too much time being way too serious. I ponder things I probably don't need to ponder. But that's the way I am. But I enjoy my kinks. Everyone has kinks. And for some of us, its the kinks that make us interesting, or more interesting. Don't you think we should celebrate our kinks? Assuming its not like running with scissors, that is. Some things can be destructive, noted. But sometimes what we think is destructive is actually just unconventional. Is it wrong to push on tradition? Challenge what we believe? I love pushing, challenging. That's another kink. I hear stories of the great philosophers sitting in cafes chatting and challenging each other. It is possible to disagree and everyone can still win. I don't always have to be right, but I feel I have a right to an opinion. Why should that be so challenging to people? I know, we have lost the ability to have a civil disagreement about things. We have become so polarized that we can't have fun while discussing the things we disagree about. That is sad. There are folks I totally disagree with who I still call friend. I hope they call me friend as well. I know when I go to the poll that my vote will be cancelled by someone I know and like, but who disagrees with me. That's OK. All too frequently in recent years I feel bad I can't sit down and have a really good heated depate about some issue, and at the end, finish off a good bottle of wine, or scotch agreeing to disagree. I need that kind of engagement. It is fun, and educational. I don't always have to be right (but I usually am), but I'd like to think I'm always learning.
I'd like to think this is something I can pass to my kids. The love of learning. The love of depate. The love of disagreement. The love of engagement. One of the real pleasures of being a thinking being is the ability to think. I feel sorry for people who only parrot what they have heard. I feel sorry for people who don't think they have the right to think for themselves. There is so much cool stuff to ponder. Actually, pondering why we ponder is a good place to start.
I am probably much more selfish than I'd like to think I am. I am probably more self absorded, self indulgent. I probably look through rose colored glasses. But doesn't everyone. Well, everyone but St. Teressa. And is that OK?
Do you think people stop from time to time to look around and ask whether other people see their reality the same way they see it? I ponder these things.
You know the song with the line "all I want is a little fun before I die". Is that an unreasonable request? Don't get me wrong. I have had a blast on this journey. At times. I have had the blessing to do some amazing things, and see some amazing stuff. But I'd like to go to a Jimmy Buffett concert and dance and sing. I'd like to look at bare boobs without feeling like I shouldn't be looking. I'd like to run naked through the sprinklers again. Or just be naked again. Do we spend so much time trying to avoid eternal damnation to just enjoy sitting in the sun nude? What does everything need to be so serious?
I spend way too much time being way too serious. I ponder things I probably don't need to ponder. But that's the way I am. But I enjoy my kinks. Everyone has kinks. And for some of us, its the kinks that make us interesting, or more interesting. Don't you think we should celebrate our kinks? Assuming its not like running with scissors, that is. Some things can be destructive, noted. But sometimes what we think is destructive is actually just unconventional. Is it wrong to push on tradition? Challenge what we believe? I love pushing, challenging. That's another kink. I hear stories of the great philosophers sitting in cafes chatting and challenging each other. It is possible to disagree and everyone can still win. I don't always have to be right, but I feel I have a right to an opinion. Why should that be so challenging to people? I know, we have lost the ability to have a civil disagreement about things. We have become so polarized that we can't have fun while discussing the things we disagree about. That is sad. There are folks I totally disagree with who I still call friend. I hope they call me friend as well. I know when I go to the poll that my vote will be cancelled by someone I know and like, but who disagrees with me. That's OK. All too frequently in recent years I feel bad I can't sit down and have a really good heated depate about some issue, and at the end, finish off a good bottle of wine, or scotch agreeing to disagree. I need that kind of engagement. It is fun, and educational. I don't always have to be right (but I usually am), but I'd like to think I'm always learning.
I'd like to think this is something I can pass to my kids. The love of learning. The love of depate. The love of disagreement. The love of engagement. One of the real pleasures of being a thinking being is the ability to think. I feel sorry for people who only parrot what they have heard. I feel sorry for people who don't think they have the right to think for themselves. There is so much cool stuff to ponder. Actually, pondering why we ponder is a good place to start.
Monday, March 9, 2009
I Promise
OK, so I'm back to blogging. I got a little distracted in the last couple months, and the loss of the old Journal Space still stings. But I need to get back to it. And I promise to do better (I'm really promising myself to do better).
So, what's new on my part of the planet? I like sleeping alone. Isn't that odd? I sleep better. I find I don't sweat or stress about the tension between my wife and I. I used to get in bed and feel the tension. I don't know. I feel it when she's going to bed and make a comment like "stay warm" when she's walking past. She has said repeatedly that I am welcome to return to the bedroom. And I know that. I have to remind her I choose to move out. Maybe that was my little step to gain some control over myself. It might be a small thing, but it is something I am choosing.
Spring time is coming up and that will be a time for new tensions. Every year for the past four or five years we have had people up for a wild flower hike. This year there will be a wild flower hike, but it will be tense. The woman my wife called out is always invited to the wild flower hike. So, we will get to an impass about what to do. I suspect I'll just schedule the hike when my wife isn't around. Or give her the option to be away. And that will cause a great stress. This will be a spot where she believes she gets to make the rules regardless of what is right. I think there is a high degree of pride as well as control at work here. It is hard for her to admit she was wrong. Heck, I don't even think she thinks she was wrong. But it is a microcosm of what's going on.
This isn't new. And I know I've seen it all along. I just have never figured out how to manage it, or myself when it comes to this stuff. Fear is a very strong motivator. And she knows that. Trouble it she doesn't see the lasting impact it has on me, or the kids. She was afraid of her father, I know she sees that in herself. But I don't think she sees the long term result of that. Last night as the kids were doing their chores she was getting impatient. My son was messing around. But he was in a really good mood, and just having fun. He was getting his chores done, but not on her time line. I looked for a way to difuse the situation without calling her out in front of the kids, but I couldn't. I finally just had to declare a time out. I told her to chill out, the boy was just having fun. He's a fun, happy kid, and that's OK. She doesn't need to ride him. Needless to say, her mood soured. She doesn't like being reined in. No one does. But she needs to be more self aware to avoid it. I need to be more self aware to help avoid it. The kids need to be kids. I think they need much more tolerance and understanding. They're good kids, and as long as they can be happy, I think that should come first.
So, what's new on my part of the planet? I like sleeping alone. Isn't that odd? I sleep better. I find I don't sweat or stress about the tension between my wife and I. I used to get in bed and feel the tension. I don't know. I feel it when she's going to bed and make a comment like "stay warm" when she's walking past. She has said repeatedly that I am welcome to return to the bedroom. And I know that. I have to remind her I choose to move out. Maybe that was my little step to gain some control over myself. It might be a small thing, but it is something I am choosing.
Spring time is coming up and that will be a time for new tensions. Every year for the past four or five years we have had people up for a wild flower hike. This year there will be a wild flower hike, but it will be tense. The woman my wife called out is always invited to the wild flower hike. So, we will get to an impass about what to do. I suspect I'll just schedule the hike when my wife isn't around. Or give her the option to be away. And that will cause a great stress. This will be a spot where she believes she gets to make the rules regardless of what is right. I think there is a high degree of pride as well as control at work here. It is hard for her to admit she was wrong. Heck, I don't even think she thinks she was wrong. But it is a microcosm of what's going on.
This isn't new. And I know I've seen it all along. I just have never figured out how to manage it, or myself when it comes to this stuff. Fear is a very strong motivator. And she knows that. Trouble it she doesn't see the lasting impact it has on me, or the kids. She was afraid of her father, I know she sees that in herself. But I don't think she sees the long term result of that. Last night as the kids were doing their chores she was getting impatient. My son was messing around. But he was in a really good mood, and just having fun. He was getting his chores done, but not on her time line. I looked for a way to difuse the situation without calling her out in front of the kids, but I couldn't. I finally just had to declare a time out. I told her to chill out, the boy was just having fun. He's a fun, happy kid, and that's OK. She doesn't need to ride him. Needless to say, her mood soured. She doesn't like being reined in. No one does. But she needs to be more self aware to avoid it. I need to be more self aware to help avoid it. The kids need to be kids. I think they need much more tolerance and understanding. They're good kids, and as long as they can be happy, I think that should come first.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Bare Assed
Figuratively speaking
It has dawned on me where we are going. What she wants, a romantic relationship, with me, on her terms.
My position, pick any two.
Its really that simple.
And fairness, I have the same choice. I have chosen on my terms now. And I have chosen to have a relationship, maybe romantic, maybe not romantic, but open. If its with her, or someone else is yet to be determined.
I see the conflict in her. Control is a drug. There is an addiction. And the withdrawls are terrible.
It has dawned on me where we are going. What she wants, a romantic relationship, with me, on her terms.
My position, pick any two.
Its really that simple.
And fairness, I have the same choice. I have chosen on my terms now. And I have chosen to have a relationship, maybe romantic, maybe not romantic, but open. If its with her, or someone else is yet to be determined.
I see the conflict in her. Control is a drug. There is an addiction. And the withdrawls are terrible.
Monday, March 2, 2009
taking my pants off
OK, so that last blog sucked. No excuses.
How about if I just take my pants off and start running around bare assed. Would that be better?
How about if I just take my pants off and start running around bare assed. Would that be better?
a funk, and statistics
OK, so you know you're in a funk when you get pissed off by how they deal with statistics on the radio news. Really, doesn't that sound stupid? Buttttttt. We are in the middle of a drought here. They love to say we have had three years of less than "normal" rainfall. Noooooooo. We have had three years of less than AVERAGE rainfall. "Normal" rainfall is expect to vary from year to year. There is a single sided distribution of rainfall totals that defines what is "normal". This year we have about 80% of average. That is certainly "normal". Its like the headline in the London Times right after the war "50% of Children in Britan Receive Below Average Nutrition"
Duh
Duh
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